dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
