So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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