Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
