Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
