I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
