The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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