I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Randomize
