I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
