Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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