awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
