brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
