so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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