I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize