is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
