Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
