I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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