Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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