I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize