there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize