he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We don't watch enough power rangers
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
