So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
