her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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