he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
