She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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