mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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