In the future we'll all be gay
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Found the puke drawer
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
