i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
