Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
