Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I got inside last night via doggy door
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
