I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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