My first STD was from a foam party
her vagine was all disorganized.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
