Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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