I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
