oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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