i already hear my dad disowning me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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