I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
