Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
babies were throwing up all over the place
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
3 2 1 whiskey
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
