does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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