the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
