Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
