yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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