Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it glows. i had to have it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We need a shit load of segways right now
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
