considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
