My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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