??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Randomize
