ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
