you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The beer is more important than you right now.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
