addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
