Ambien. No doubt about it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
