i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
A+ Viking dick
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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