she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Someone came in the potted fern
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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