can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Randomize
