More tranny stories later!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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