Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
