dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
